


Leaving (on a jet plane)

by Deandeanmoose



Series: Blakeleigh [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Arguing, Bisexual Rafael Barba, Established Relationship, Leaving Home, M/M, Married Couple, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23691898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deandeanmoose/pseuds/Deandeanmoose
Summary: Rafael receives news Blake is leaving for a two-week mission.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Blakeleigh [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606885
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Leaving (on a jet plane)

"Blake! Blake!" I ran after him as he lifted my phone above me, "I need that."

"Work later, me now." He smirked.

"I can't help they call me for warrants during date night."

"Now you can." He set it up on a shelf out of reach, "Pay attention to me, you get it back."

"And lose my job."

"Then you can be my house husband." He chuckled as I pounded his chest lightly.

"Blake, phone... Now." 

He sat down quickly in the chair he was leaning by, causing me to fall onto his lap. I pushed myself up and was about to start a small move to get my phone when his went off.

"Really? No puedo tener el mío, pero tú puedes? (I can't have mine but you can?)"

"You take it up with the government and military." He answered it quickly as I turned away towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, so fair. You won't take it up with the state but yeah, fair." I rolled my eyes and realized Blake hadn't been talking.

 _ **No, no, no, no...**_ I turn to him, watching his steel face unmoved and knew what came next. _**Don't you dare. Do not fucking say it...**_ He wouldn't look towards me, first clue. The loosened grip on his free hand, second reason to scream. All the small things were showing and I knew it before he said it.

"Yes sir, I'll be there."

The phone went down and was tossed on the coffee table beside me as I looked away. _**He's fucking leaving me.**_ I felt numb, like screaming at the top of my lungs for the world to hear... Like going back to elementary and letting the bullies pummel me.

"Raf..."

"Don't want to hear it." I started to walk away as he reached for me.

"Raf I..."

"Why do you always leave?" I whispered as he stopped short of touching me, "I've had you a little over a month and that's it. You leave me alone again."

"Just two weeks."

"Until you have to stay over and I get nothing." I turned towards him, "I signed up for you, I suffer with your job."

"Like I want to go? I got a honeymoon and Christmas, now they want me to do a quick training set up for some troops..."

"And no one else can?" I walked to the bed.

"Let me get your pho..."

"I don't care anymore." I sighed, "When do you leave?"

"Friday. Two days." He walked over to me and kissed my head, "I love you. You know that."

"That's why I never get you." I changed for bed and laid down as he followed suit.

"I try... I try for you, I just want you." I closed my eyes and he sighed, "I just want you."

"I just want to go to bed." I shrugged him off and rolled to face away.

* * *

**_Blake_ **

* * *

The next morning, I wake to an empty bed. Raf always left early when we fight before bed, I guess it's easier than angrily getting ready for work with each other. I smell eggs in the kitchen with something meaty, I sided on caution and got dressed for base. A briefing on the training mission then I had the rest of today and tomorrow to make it up to him. 

I pulled on cargo pants and a black shirt, fix my hair. It was nice to have a month off, the stubble was building up even if it wasn't quite a beard. My hair had gotten a little longer on top, needed to trim it... Or maybe keep it. Raf did love running his fingers through it. He chuckled at the scratch on his chin. One quick moment of putting on shoes and I was down in the kitchen. Eggs and chorizo on a plate for me and a note.

_Made you breakfast, see you after work._   
_\- Love Raf_

"This will be fun." I sighed and ate before heading to the base.

A short meeting, very short meeting really. It was as said before, two week training mission. Since it is supposed to be my downtime, I work the two weeks and get two months unless an emergency comes up. It gave me extra time, especially since I will definitely be making this up to Raf. 

"Hey, Blake!" Mike came jogging up, "I seen you got pulled."

"Yeah, my two months got cut short."

"Sorry man, I know you wanted time off with Rafael..."

"It's fine, I have to spin it for Raf and maybe get to sleep in the same bed."

"He kicked you out of the bed?"

"Not yet, but it was date night and he did roll away refusing to look at me."

"OK, I get it. Been there." He sighed, "How many going?"

"Me plus three."

"Should I expect packing?" He stopped as I chuckled.

"Hell no... I won't be on Raf and Jeanie's bad side. You stay for your anniversary."

"What unlucky three then?"

"The three with big mouths that got me lectured. Necesitan limpiar sus jodidas jaulas. (They need to clean up their fucking cages.)" I held the door, "Now, how to fix things."

"Redo on date night?"

"Nah, I will go more direct. His favorite sushi to go and me groveling on my knees in his office."

"Ouch, good luck."

I got to my truck and just sat there a moment. Letting the silence set in, letting my thoughts run rampid. **_I couldn't refuse an order. Take two weeks out and then two months with him... Not bad. I refuse an order, lose my job and get forever with him trying to find a different job._** My hands covered my face a second, one deep breath and I started the truck and drove. My plan was clear, then I thought twice and just went for the easier sell.

"Rafael Barba's office." Carmen spoke quickly.

"Carmen, it's Blake... Raf in?"

"He's out till three, court."

"OK, I have a gift to drop off. Don't say who it's from please."

"Of course." She sighed, "By the way, he's sorry."

"I know he's not." 

"He is, he just won't admit it."

"Thank you, Carmen."

I stopped for sushi and left it in his office. It was a small gesture, one that he could act on. **_Call me and fix this, say something when he got home, eat it and ignore me... Plenty of options._** Carmen nodded as I left and got my own food.

* * *

**_Rafael_ **

* * *

I was done in court early walking to the office with Liv, "I'm just saying, this case is sinking. It doesn't help that Cragen is gone and Munch is retiring in a few days."

"I know, I'm not sure if I'm up to leadership yet."

"No, you cause too much trouble yet." I smirked.

"I should take offense to that." She laughed, "Chinese?"

"Sounds good..." I smiled at Carmen, "What do I have?"

"No calls." Carmen smiled.

"Then I will sit this down and we can go."

I sat the briefcase down and stopped, a sushi container sat with my favorites lined up. _**Blake...**_ I picked up a roll and took a bite.

"Or you already ordered?" Liv stood in the doorway.

"Blake did... It is a nice apology." I put the lid on it and carried it with me to the door, "We can share on the way."

"What do you mean apology?"

"OK, we can discuss that on the way."

We made it to the restaurant and I tossed the empty container. After taking seats, we ordered and finished the topic of my love life.

"So you started a fight because he took your phone away but answered his?"

"You know better." I glared, "He is leaving."

"It's his job."

"It wasn't meant to be, he still has three weeks."

"But he gives up two weeks and get's two months."

"Until they pull him again and cut it short."

"He can't control his assignments."

"I was hoping you would back me." I mumbled, "Acabo de compartir el sushi. (I did just share the sushi.)"

"Suck it up. Ustedes dos parecen estar bien juntos, dejen de encontrar peleas pequeñas. (You two seem good together, stop finding small fights.)" She smiled as the plates sat down in front of us, "He can't help it."

"I know, I know..." I frowned, "But It goes back to me overreacting and I hate it."

"Yo también ... El sarcasmo se ve mejor. (Me too... Sarcasm looks better.)" She smiled and I tapped glasses.

* * *

**_Blake_ **

* * *

I sat at home alone, no fancy dinner or gifts to bribe Raf. I was leaving the morning after next, I had one whole day to enjoy my normal life before a two week job. He would talk to me, even if it was just to say he was still mad. Then by the time I left, he would be over it. TV had on some boring drama and I had a little leftover Thai food that had been stinking up the fridge. It wasn't the best, almost bad... but I wasn't going to overdo the apology. I left the sushi and didn't even write a note, didn't want to put too much. 

A door shut rather loudly and Rafael came walking in. He tossed his coat in the front closet and stopped in the doorway as the tray TV was starting to annoy me. 

"What are you watching?"

"The first thing on TV when I turned it on, too lazy to reach for the remote." I looked at it on the coffee table.

"Siempre tengo que hacer eso. (I always have to do that.)" He had an amused smirk and slowly walked over to retrieve the remote.

"Not always..."

He cut me off with a kiss as he sat the remote in my hand, "Yes, always."

"You forgive me?" I look up as he sighs dramatically enough to be on the show behind him.

"Only if you forgive me." He sat beside me, "Is that the week old Thai?"

I saw him lean away, "It's only a few days."

"Last Tuesday, we went to the movies and then picked up Thai before meeting Liv and her boyfriend."

"Shit... ten days." I spit out the chicken and he laughed.

"How do you survive without me?"

"They tell me what to do." I rinsed my mouth, "Besides, I beat up your bullies in return. Wasn't that part of my vows or something."

"Something like that." 

He walked the Thai food away and came back with some chips and salsa. He settled in with me, curled up as we crunched chips and he found something for us to watch. This is what I needed, no blame or issues. A silent agreement we both did wrong, that was the key. 

"So, two weeks?"

I look at him and wipe salsa off his face, "two weeks for two months."

"OK, I'll bite. Not like I can stop you anyway." 

"How was the sushi?"

"Liv and I appreciated it." He blushed, "we shared it on the way to lunch."

"I will not take offense." I rolled my eyes and he shoved me softly.

"Let's not fight on it. Just enjoy this last night." He closed his eyes, "I guess."

"You know, you could see me off."

"No, no... Why would I..." 

"I want you to." I smiled as he locked eyes with me, "A nice breakfast, drive me to the base and see me off."

"Really?" 

"Yeah." I looked down, "I mean, I lost a day because of this fight."

"But you don't like me seeing you off except on the tour."

"No, I do, but... You get sappy."

"I do not." 

"Yes you do, that's why I have you stay home on these small scheduled ones. You get embarrassed."

He scooted away and made that guilty face without admitting it, "Fine."

I pulled him back against me, kissing his head and making him snuggle up. It was my last free night, I needed him to just be with me for these last few hours. We fell asleep on the couch and I moved him to the bed later on in the night.

* * *

**_Rafael_ **

* * *

As we woke up, I kissed his bare chest and hummed a tune as his eyes flickered open. My hands rolled over his chest memorizing each little detail I could, or well, re-memorizing. I did this before each tour and each long mission since we were dating. **_Left peck just out of his armpit, Knife mark from basic training._** My finger traced his wide scar. It was thicker in the center, maybe a half-inch then back to a hairline scar.

"Morning handsome." He chuckled.

 ** _Between the sixth and seventh rib, circular... Bullet during a classified mission I never heard about still._** My finger rolled over it gently, it was firm and the bullet was removed but if you put pressure on it... You swear you could hear his rib move.

"Morning G.I. Joe." I pressed my hand on his lower hip and kissed the next scar.

 ** _Center of his chest, just off of his heart, a curve slice on his skin. It was slightly raised, a little dark... He never told me that story but it was a tender one. He always turned into a shaking mess trying to._** My lips pressed to it, then your heart. It was the only way to touch it bare without layers between it.

"Cute. Porque te estoy dejando sola otra vez? (Because I'm leaving you all alone again?)"

"No, porque llenas bien el uniforme. (because you fill out the uniform well.)" I let the right hand start.

It cupped his right nipple and thumbed the tip with no feeling. **_Childhood accident, frostbitten nipple with no feeling... I still remember he manage to bring it up on our sixth date and I tested it out that night, our first time together._** I gave a quick rub and slowly let just the tip of my finger graze down his side.

"I could use some breakfast. Dónde debemos ir? (Where should we go?)"

"Are you completely packed already?"

"Yes, cuando estaba esperando para ver si vendrías a casa anoche. (when I was waiting to see if you would come home last night)."

He closed his eyes as three fingers pressed against his waistband. _**Heated knife left a mark when his buddy cauterized a wound. Shrapnel hit the edge of his artery. It saved his life but it never healed over how you would think, it just scarred the open wound. It left his lower right hip with an open split, a reminder that his fallen brother saved him with a lighter and a knife**_. I traced the small gap at the bottom edge, watch his body try not to move and hairs stand up.

"I'll get dressed in a second." I let the finger roll down to trace right at his perineum.

"You have two to go... No lo apresuraré. (I won't rush it.)" He wiggled his hips to drop the boxers a little.

Right there, below his privates but still too close to his jewels is the burn mark. _**He is surprising not so cat-like. Making breakfast after our first night together somehow lead to him burning that spot on my old oven. I remember helping him into the ER and him trying to explain how he burned himself, well, there.**_ I trace it carefully, _**Don't tease... That is is special spot to help me get him off. We don't need sex right now.**_

"Easy there my Cubano, I am trying not to pin you down and skip breakfast."

My lips curled up as I pulled back up to kiss his forehead and rest mine against his, the final scar. _**The mental scars I slowly got to fade away, the few he spoke of and many he never touches.**_ With each scar traced and memorized, just the way he is... I would have it stored in my memory for the small chance it will be my last of him. 

"Good." He hummed, "Ahora vistámonos y quiero el desayuno clásico americano completo antes de perderte por unas semanas. (Now let's get dressed and I want the full American classic breakfast before I lose you for a few weeks.)"

"So Gladsy's diner? No me importaría un desayuno grasiento. (I wouldn't mind a greasy breakfast.)" I sat up carefully.

"Not far from base... Just enough time to before send-off." He stood up and slowly got ready as I yawned and pulled on clothes. 

Khakis, pink shirt with short sleeves, black tennis shoes... Hair messy and glasses on after a peek out the window shown plenty of sun. I barely got the hoodie on when Blake stepped out in his usual prep. Hair slicked back, green camo cargo pants, black long sleeve shirts and his bag tossed over his shoulder. 

"Let's go, let's go."

"I'm not a soldier." I walked by as he smirked, "I don't do orders well."

"I've noticed." He whistled as he walked to the car. 

The drive was short and the diner was empty. We sat at the best booth with the view of the shore, sitting across from each other. They never asked, just started our food and sat it down. Bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, ham and coffee for Blake, I had a jumbled skillet of goodness.

"The last good food for weeks... It might just give me heartburn." Blake groaned as I snickered and sipped my coffee.

"Then enjoy."

"I am... But only with you." He tapped my hand on the counter before taking it, "Remember when you watched me leave on my first tour after we got together? We watched Armageddon the night before at like midnight on TV, so you started humming that stupid song and then..."

"Your whole team started to sing it as we walked away leaving you and the others at the gate." I blushed, "Oh I hated how much they held it against me."

"It's only because I loved it."

 _ **And I love you, that's why I put up with it.**_ I smiled and closed my eyes on this perfect morning to remember it. To keep it intact for a night to come.

"Raf, we need to go." He took my hand, "The drive will have me cutting it close."

"OK. Entonces vamos a amar. (Then let's go love.)" I kissed his cheek before stopping at the car. 

We were on our way to goodbye, to another moment of leaving. It was the worse part of being married to Blake, well, second worse. Having him leave, it starts as the best days. All about making it disappear from our thoughts, savoring every second that ticked by till he had to leave, stepping on a plane and flying away... The worse one though, the one that took my breath and made me feel like pure hell, that was hearing deaf soldiers on the news. Bombing near Blake's stationed spot, three dead... I am a mess till I hear from him. Luckily, I've never got the call or uniforms bringing that news.

"Alright, here we are."

I felt as if I had only blinked, turns out I was deep in thought and missed the whole drive. We were parked at base and I just zoned out until he tugged my hand.

"So my sexy Cuban, are you going to get out and say goodbye or sit here and watch me leave." Blake slowly got his bag from the back seat and got out. 

I bit my lip and nodded before getting out and walking to him, he took my hand with his free one and started to whistle. I closed my eyes as I knew what was happening. _**That fucking song, he is doing it to me again.**_ I opened my eyes and seen him smirk.

"Am I gonna sing this alone?"

"Depending on the crew you picked." I leaned into him by the gate as the others pulled up.

" _Leaving... On a jet plane._ " he tipped my face up, "Come on..."

"No." I laughed as he tugged me in.

"I'll do it." He wiggled his brows, "You know I will."

"Oh come on." I closed my eyes and he kissed my head but belted it out.

" _All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn. The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn..._ "

I roll my eyes, "Already I'm so lonesome I could die."

" _So kiss me and smile for me._ " he grinned widely, " _Tell me that you'll wait for me._ "

"Less and less, Tu voz es horrible. (your voice is hideous.)"

" _Hold me like you'll never let me go. 'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane."_

"God just stop..." I chuckled with bruisingly red cheeks from my embarrassment killing me.

" _I don't know when I'll be back again._ "

"Me vas a matar. (You are gonna kill me.)" 

Before I could even think, A different voice cut in and I was dead. I was burning up from this pure desire to disappear and knowing Blake had me tight to him as I hide my face. **_God damn you. Why do you always do this to me?_**

" _I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again._ " I look up and see three men walking up, " _I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again_."

"You set me up you Asshole." I chuckled.

"Sorry I can't hear you." He smirked.

" _I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again. I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again."_

"I hate you." I slowly looked up with lips tipped up as he waved them off.

" _I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again._ " 

" _Oh, babe, I hate to go,"_ I whispered as he kissed me.

With us alone by the gate, he tipped my head back to the side, "Love you. Always will."

"Just come back in one piece, breathing."

"Anything for you Rafa." 

I slowly let the fabric slip from my grip, the man I loved walked away so effortlessly. For the dozen or more times we have said goodbye like this, I really did love it. Blake was and always will be the one for me. Horrible voice singing the same stupid song and all.


End file.
